I’m sure that days have gone by in which I didn’t think of you.

I just can’t remember any of them.

A little afternoon wisdom:

“The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, “I will love this person because I need them.” Or, “I’ll love you if you’ll love me back. I’ll love you, but only if you will be the way I want.” This isn’t love at all – it is attachment – and attachment is rigid, it is very different from love. When there is attachment, there is clinging and fear. Love allows, honors, and appreciates; attachment grasps, demands, needs, and aims to possess. Attachment is conditional, offers love only to certain people in certain ways; it is exclusive. Love, in the sense of metta, used by the Buddha, is a universal, non-discriminating feeling of caring and connectedness. We may even love those whom we may not approve of or like. We may not condone their behavior, but we cultivate forgiveness. Love is a powerful force that transforms any situation. It is not passive acquiescence. As the Buddha said, “Hatred never ceases through hatred. Hatred only ceases through love.” Love embraces all beings without exception, and discards ill will.”   -John Kornfield

Mind blowing beauty and real-life, tough-love lessons for this sometimes clingy woman. Attachment is fear, and fear is not love.

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Help?

What do you guys know about Effexor? What was your experience with it? I didn’t like it, but a friend was just prescribed it bc it’s “fast acting.” That’s not been my experience with it – you guys?? Thanks!!

white shooters.

So many points in this article and I’m not sure how I feel about them all, but this…this is incredible:

The reality of America is that White people are fundamentally good, and so when a white person commits a crime, it is a sign that they, as an individual, are bad. Their actions as a person are not indicative of any broader social construct. Even the fact that America has a growing number of violent hate groups, populated mostly by white men, and that nearly *all* serial killers are white men can not shadow the fundamental truth of white male goodness. In fact, we like White serial killers so much, we make mini-series about them.

White people are good as a whole, and only act badly as individuals.

People of color, especially Black people (but boy we can talk about “The Mexicans” in this community), are seen as fundamentally bad. There might be a good one- and we are always quick to point them out to our friends, show them off as our Academy Award for “Best Non-Racist in a White Role”- but when we see a bad one, it’s just proof that the rest are, as a rule, bad.

Read the rest of I, Racist on Huffington Post.

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The Importance Of Gender Neutral Toys – A Reblog.

This is an article published originally on the New York Family by Dr. Joe Taravella, a licensed clinical psychologist at NYU Langone Medical Center–Rusk Rehabilitation. His personal website is: drjoetaravella.com. I love it. Gender identity – especially gender fluidity/flux/queer/etc. are finally being given conscious attention, which is good considering it subconsciously affects every facet of our lives. Dr. Joe’s article teaches parents to give their kids a chance to learn who they are without [this one aspect of] society’s programmed expectations.

“While our society has moved away from traditional and antiquated gender roles, such as the model of a mom who is a homemaker (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and a dad who works outside of the home, how far have we really advanced in the area of gender segregation with children’s toys and clothes? Children learn early on in their development that certain toys and particular colors are intended for specific genders, and the princess fantasy culture becomes enmeshed with girls’ playtime in the blink of an eye. And while we all prefer to make choices and have control in our lives, do we really to want put a pink or blue stamp on our child’s forehead and limit their choices of toy and play preferences?

In this ever-changing world, we are seeing an increase of families with diverse family structures, two-income households, and all family members sharing in household responsibilities. So why are we still stuck on trucks for boys and dolls for girls?  We need to move away from the notion of gender-specific toys and create a nurturing environment for children to freely discover and play that’s aligned with their innate interests.

Outdated gender roles hinder exploratory play, stifle creativity, create a roadblock to sharing among boys and girls, and deny children the opportunity to develop skills across genders.  And while the well-intentioned parent may believe they are saving their children from being teased by their peers, over time, children believe they are not allowed to express themselves and that who they are is not as important as how they compare to others in society’s eyes. So if we look at life with ‘gender-goggles,’ are we truly giving our children equal opportunities in life during their formidable years? As we fast-forward to adulthood, we see women thriving in their careers but not earning equal pay, and men become more lonely and depressed (resulting in higher rates of suicides compared to women), so how do we counteract traditional gender roles?

Creating a gender-neutral environment can foster gender identity and gender expression. According to a 2005 study by Judith Blakemore and Renee Centers, “Characteristics of Boys’ and Girls’ Toys,” the authors concluded that, “children of both genders would benefit from play with toys that develop educational, scientific, physical, artistic, and musical skills.”

Parents can foster and support a gender-neutral environment in their home and encourage their children to be anything they want to be. Parents can be as creative as wish and include gender-neutral toys into their homes such as play-doh, toy telephones and cash registers, building blocks, play kitchens, tossing games, puzzles, sock puppets, musical instruments, and board games to name a few. Children should be allowed to discover and explore their gender preferences, gender identity, and gender expression. Developing this strong sense of self will enhance their overall self-esteem and allow them to be creative, imaginative, and feel capable. As parents, we want to give our children the key to the world; so giving children the opportunity to play across all gender roles helps them develop skills they may ‘traditionally’ not be encouraged to explore. In doing so, boys can be more nurturing and verbally expressive, which can lead to having better interpersonal relationships with girls and women and being better fathers. Girls can develop spatial skills when engaged in non-traditional roles and grow up feeling more confident in careers relating to science, technology, engineering, math, and construction.  Ultimately, fostering your child’s innate preferences of what interests them will be most beneficial to their overall growth and development. And kudos to those companies who organize children’s toys and apps by category of play or age, instead of gender in an effort for children to develop their own identity regardless of their gender.

So, are boys and girls different? Sure, but so are girls from other girls and boys from other boys. What I tell each child is that they are unique and special in their very own way, as there’s no other ‘you’ in this entire world; so just be your special ‘self’ and reach for the stars, no matter what color of the rainbow they happen to be.”

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I HATE SEXUAL ASSAULT SO MUCH.

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a a a a a a a

I want to read this so badly and all of the articles it links to, but I’ve had it open in a tab on my computer for weeks and haven’t done it. One day, guys. One day.

An 80th Anniversary Tribute to AA

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Are you a highly Emotionally Intelligent person?

Originally posted on Be Like Water:

gretel-ella-smith-emotional-intelligence

  1. You have a robust emotional vocabulary

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36 per cent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

  1. You’re curious about people

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is…

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how to.

“But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

From Thought Catalog.

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A Glorious Sunset!

Originally posted on Indian Saffron.. by prenita dutt:

image

The sky turned to liquid gold and suddenly the evening sky was ablaze with light… It is at times like these that one breathes in  deeply and sends a grateful ‘Thank you’ to the Universe :)

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