Tag Archives: heartache

this though.

Thank you for this comment:

“It’s taken years to put the nesting dolls of this breakup back together. And there are times when you’ve take it back apart to look at all the pieces again. But at some point you get faster with reassembling it. And at some point it sits on the shelf longer and longer before you pull it down again.
Here’s hoping you can soon move it to the top shelf where you can glance at it from afar to make room for other things closer to you. Like a momento from a trip taken long ago, where memories are there in the surrounding space of other souvenirs of adventures long ago.
Here’s hoping the picture frames on your shelf are soon filled with beautiful images of your current life: photos of those who love you, those you love, and times you cherish.”

Day by day by day by day.

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Newest Worst Thing

They’re on MY square. My hometown. The exact place I got engaged, at a festival I wanted to attend but I wasn’t in town.

Yes, I could stop stalking them.

And I do! For days at a time. And then I wake up and torture myself.

BUT guys.

I’m not so nauseated today. I honestly think he and I are moving on at the same time, same pace. And that’s a good, good thing (the timing, I mean). We had such a good conversation about everything not too long ago. I didn’t think there was anything left to talk about, but there was, and it helped. I guess.

Because I met someone. Someone normal, normal looking, age-appropriate, kind of wonderful and kind of an asshole (a good balance I promise), who does nice things and it doesn’t make me cringe, and to whom I am attracted.

It’s been two years and that has NEVER happened. People are nice to me and I run away. I like their minds but can’t stand the thought of anything physical. I want them physically but there’s nothing else there.

So maybe I’ve finally found my rebound?

The part that sucks is that he’s moving on with someone nearby, on my square, and I’m moving on with someone….who lives on the other side of the world. Three months from now he’ll leave this place, likely never to return. Fingers crossed it’s a rebound and not real feelings, please and thank you.

Oh my heart. Just get it together, already.

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I hate November.

[for the ones we’ve loved too much + lost too soon, all because of a past love that’s clouding their mind. oh, november and your way of breaking all our hearts]

how can i find my home
in the darkness of your mind
you talk of her too much to let it go easy
Will you Ever let go long enough to wAnt me?

oh, because i saw, bLack as a night, ocean’s abyss of her in your eyes
i saW it when you looked through me that night
i heArd it in the whispers between Your teeth,
heard it in the way you tried to Say that you loved me
heard it in your leaving, you were packing up your things
i should have known you didn’t want me
you never had room to want me

a FlickEring of innocEnt Light,
but a fire never burns all the way through a windy night
i can’t help but notice that you LOok so NicE
oh, and november’s chiLling my spine with his call

oh, because i saw, black as a night, ocean’s abYss of her In your eyes
i saw it wheN you looked Through me tHat night
i hEard it in the whispers between your teeth,
heArd it in the way yoU Tried to say that yoU loved me
heard it in your leaving, you were packing up your things
i should have known you didn’t want Me
you never had room to waNt me

(all of the lyrics, including capitalization choices, taken directly from Liza Anne’s website).

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I’m sure days have gone by when I didn’t think of you.

I just don’t remember any of them.

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chest pain.

“That’s probably not true.”

Stabbing pains in the chest.

Love.

I can’t breathe.

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